‘09 ending
Wow Thanksgiving is like.. here, then it will be Christmas around the corner.. then New Years! It’s kind of hard to believe that the year is almost over! I mean, I feel like we JUST rang in the New Year. 09 was definitely quite the year for me. I know it’s kind of early, but I just feel like giving my little testimony of the year.
It started off so amazing, I mean it was blessing upon blessing, and accomplishment after accomplishment. I kept wondering, Lord, what did i do last year that would make you bless me so much. God was just granting me with certain positions and taking me to new levels and giving me so much opportunity, and showing me all I can do, letting me see how much ability He gave me. It was amazing and I was loving it, thanking God for all the blessings. Than bam, right smack dab in the middle of the year, God pulled off the veil over my eyes, and showed me how weak and human I was. I was put into a position where I could see myself right then and there for who Sam really is. That in spite of all the great things I could do, all the talent I had, all the admiration I had gathered from people around me, that in the presence of a holy God, in comparison to the Almighty, that I was filthy, that I am still able to fall, that I’m still a child, that I’m still foolish and that parts of me are still a total mess.
But, in my survey of it all, when I looked back and saw what God did for me in the beginning of the year and how I saw myself now, it was then, I was able to really see, the beauty of the Gospel. And I mean THE gospel. Not the sweetened up and watered down Gospel, that Jesus died because he loved us and wants us to live happy, but the REAL gospel. The Gospel in which we live in a world, where if we take man who would kidnap a girl`and molest her for years, and then we take a man who provides for his wife and kids with an honest living, and then compare the two men, the one thing that separates them is NOTHING if there is no repentance and acknowledgement that their BOTH sinners. That with all the accomplishments and ability that mankind can brag about, they are ultimately weak and are corrupt at the core. That good works and good deeds mean nothing if they’re not done from a repentant heart, a heart that acknowledges Jesus. I was also finally able to really feel the weight of mercy. I mean I knew mercy, I knew what it was, but I didn’t really FEEL the weight of it, or the weight of grace. “A thousand times I’ve failed, yet your mercy remains” that line is so beautiful to me now. We fail God again and again, but through it all he still shows mercy, how amazing.
‘09 was definitely a year of growth for me. Through all that’s happened, I can truly say, thank you Lord for bringing me through it, for letting me see myself, and showing me the beauty of your love, the beauty of the cross. Thank you Lord.
